Celebrating 30yrs in Life: I'm partially Traumatize...partially Damaged

I was in shock, didn't know what to do or how to react...but the event got me numb and breathless...each day pass as that awful day went through my memory, I suffocate (always try to comfort myself by deep breathing and just let out all the scary part in life) and had a few occassion but rare visceral pain, How I hate my Job! My favourite "siew meh" (my senior aka DC) use to say to me "life of the pt lies in our hand, and I don't want it..." It hit me than what she said is so very true...our Job is a risky job, the life of the people in your care lies in your hand, you are accountable for your mistake and action, this is something in life I wish never to have existed in the beginning.

Now at it with my Job...but ever as the day go by do I still plan and Hope to escape from my profession, one that has nothing to do with life itself is. I know I'm traumatize by it and there's no escaping and this has made me partially damaged. Looks can be so deceiving, fear is something I don't want to show but running away (it may sound cowardly) is the only option I have to free myself from this fear that hunts me to this very day. CheWah! Bolih buat Novel ni...man I still got my creativity for writing interesting stroy. hahahah maybe I'll runaway and be a writer...nah not my thang...I still perfer to be a "mind and body health and wellness officer" since I so darn-confidently good in it. Nice...in the words of silhouette kambing...

--Aurevoir et bientot ;p--